Monday, August 07, 2006

The Best Letter-to-the-Editor Writer in the World

For further evidence of the decline in public discourse in this country look no further than the editorial page of Monday’s State Journal-Register. There you will find an Op-Ed by the chairman of the Sangamon County Board, a once-respected position of government although apparently no longer, in which he discusses a serious issue in the most base terms available to him.

In analogizing the effects of second hand smoke, Mr. Van Meter chose to equate the befouling of the air with the contamination of a public pool by bodily waste. While the comparison does flow logically, he’s decision to evoke the act of urination at a time when most readers are enjoying their breakfast reeks of disrespect to his constituents.

And of course he chose to make his rather coarse point using abhorrent terms for such matters. In my day, one did not “p**” in the pool, as Mr. Van Meter so grossly puts it. We “relieved ourselves” or “made water”, but only the most ill-bred of our generation would ever deign to p** in the very place that he waded.

Mr. Van Meter’s lowborn attempt to provide voice to a critical subject is just another example of the defilement of acceptable rhetoric. No word is too blue, no analogy too crude to make one’s point.

If our elected officials can not discuss an issue with the decorum and good taste that their office demands and the public deserves, then they are better off not raising the matter to begin with. I would much rather be subjected to the air from a thousand well-bred smokers than be forced to tolerate the noxious verbosity of a single potty-mouthed politician.


P.S. It’s hot out there people; be sure to use your sunscreen.


Monkey Boy said...

I had zero problems with Van Meter's OP-ED and rather enjoyed it. I thought he mixed a little HUMOR in with an analogy that I have yet to hear on the topic.

Besides, any letter-writer or OP-ED contributor that is against smoking is a friend of mine...........unless their last names are Franks, Cormully, Best, and any of the other whiney, liberal, pukes that pollute the SJ-R on a daily basis.

You must be feeling a little regal recently. Unless this was a little scientific experiment on your part.

BlogFreeSpringfield said...

I thought of titling this post: The Best Letter-to-the-Editor Writer in the World. In fact, I may change it to that. This was an attempt at satire, an homage, if you will, to some of the favorites that you mention.

Thanks for commenting,

Sergio said...

I'm with Monkey Boy. If it's anti-smoking, even in its most reduced state of propriety, fine by me. John Fulgenzi was quoted in today's SJR editorial, connecting the cry of the bar owner's "right" to run their business as they want, with Mr. Eggroll's "right" to serve moldy chicken in a cockroach-infested building. Where is the line drawn between rights and public health? Sometimes the more uneducated (smoking?)public is in need of these simpler analogies when medical statistics and common sense elude them.

Monkey Boy said...

Ahhh. It didn't quite come off that way Dan. I will re-read and extract that embedded satire.

I thought something was a little fishy.

The 26th Man said...

"Pee" is not the preferred nomenclature. "Micturate," please.

brunettechicagogal said...

Dan, I loved your post. Maybe you should run for office. Seriously. First time reading your blog. It's great. Oh, and I'm one of those liberal pukes Monkey Boy maligned. I'm sure he'll be glad to know I now live halfway across the country in the Bluest of all Blue cities, so there's no chance he'll have to cross my whiney path. Unless I show up for the holidays, of course.

Will said...

Paul Povse would probably say that it really sucks. ;)

BlogFreeSpringfield said...

Hints that this post is a parody can be found throughout. "Flow logically" is one. Saying that as youths, my generation "relieved ourselves" in pools, but would never lower ourselves to "pee", is another. And the P.S. is an obvious nod to the work of Milford Franks.

Thanks for commenting,

Monkey Boy said...

Maybe if you had suggested the use of a wide-brimmed hat I would have immediately recognized the Franks reference. Thank God for him, he is such a useful person.